We ignorantly use some common words that display we lack confidence. This gives a negative impression to people and they tend to judge us by these words. It is just not our body language that depicts we lack confidence, what we say at times determines our level of confidence. In our discussion Today, we would engage you with those words that perceive you to be lacking in confidence because they’re sometimes mean words and mean people are most insecure.
- Obviously
When someone is so passionate or eager to tell you something new/interesting and you tell them “Obviously” or “I already knew that”. You’re indirectly dismissing them or whatever they told you, you’re telling them you’re intelligent enough to have known it before them or that you’re superior to them. What you could have done is engaging them with more positive words, be excited that they got to know about it and give your contributions. Although, these words can be used in other aspects of our lives but let’s be sensitive to know when to reframe from it. Else, it would show we lack confidence.
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- You Should
Some people are so good using this word ”You Should” when giving advice. They tell you; you should lose weight, you should quite that Job, you should leave that house, you should be working and etc. they say these words as if they’ve your life figured out, they make it seems like they know every single detail of your life. If you’re that person using this word often when giving advice, we encourage you to add a qualifier instead “IF” and “FROM”. For example; from my perspective, if I were you and etc. using a qualifier shows that you’re not all-knowing.
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- Real
If you find yourself using the statement like, a real man should have this, a real woman should act this way, or a real music should sound this way and etc. you’re saying any other thing aside your standard is inferior. You’re indirectly alienating far more people than you know when using such word. If I were you, I will cut this word out of my dictionary in this context. It portrays you to be a mean arrogant person and in turns shows you lack confidence.
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- No, But
“No, But” after someone is trying to make a point can be perceived as a personal attack. You’re simply disproving that person’s point of view and it’s a known fact that almost every one of us wants to be emotionally validated when making a point. When you’re that position where you strongly disagree with someone point of view, find a way to validate something or rephrase what they’ve said. You can say “It Seems/Sounds like” and you reiterate the argument. Doing that makes you easily move on in that argument without hurting anyone.
- More Difficult Than
We sometimes get carried away by the difficulties we’re facing in life; we compare our difficulty to other people’s difficulty as if our life is much more difficult than others. We feel we’re the one carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders, we failed to imagine the difficulties of others. It’s not a competition whether your job, discipline, or life is more difficult than someone else’s life. Always recognize that you do not understand the difficulties other people are facing because you can’t say with certainty that your difficulties are more than theirs. If you want to make a comparison, make a comparison within your life not with someone else’s life.
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